Fat. Ugly. Failure.
These are all things I have thought about myself throughout my life at one point or another. More often then I realized before preparing this blog. I have caught myself looking in the mirror and telling myself I look fat and disgusting. Then I realized what I said and told myself to stop it. I think I have always dealt with low self esteem and not a lot of confidence. Don't get me wrong I can come off very confident but that's just laying on the surface like make up it eventually washes off. I used to be a lot more confident and I'm not to sure what happened to that girl but I'd like to find her again and keep her around. I do know that I have wanted to lose weight for a very long time. I do honestly have a diary from High school and in it I have wrote that I was going to lose 10 pounds. And then a few months later I said the same thing again.
Why do we put such an emphasis on what we look like? I doubt I will ever look like a model on the cover of a magazine or wear bikini or have six pack abs. I'm ok with that. I think the reason why I had so many failed attempts at weight loss is because I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. Like in high school I wanted to be skinny to be cool and popular. I wanted to be skinny because I thought I would be liked more. Or later in my life I wanted to be thinner because I wanted to be able to go shopping with my friends and actually shop. It's hard going into stores knowing they have absolutely nothing you will fit in. When I finally decided to lose weight I wanted to lose it for me, for my future, for my health.
I envy women who love their bodies and are not afraid to show it. I tend to hide my body in baggy clothes even though I know I can look amazing in clothes that flatter myself. I have the pictures to prove it. I did reward myself last summer for all my hard efforts in my weight loss journey so far. I did a Lady Luck Pin Up photo shoot, it felt amazing to get dolled up. For that one day I actually was a model. I can say I will wear red lips with confidence. I have to remember that I am the Beauty and I need to slay the Beast, my low self esteem.
Why am I talking about this you ask because I want anyone who reads this to know they are not alone. And I think we can get stronger and be more confident. Now is the perfect time too, did you know that February is International Boost Self-Esteem Month? Here are 10 tips I found on how we can boost our own self esteem:
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
2. Compliment yourself regularly
3. Exercise consistently
4. Simply smile
5. Focus on your accomplishments
6. Get the support you need to succeed
7. Make a list of your positive qualities
8. Find something special in each day
9. Eat better
10. Explore a passion
To read more on each tip check out the article I found this from. (Boost Your Self-Esteem)
I know this is something I am going to be working on. It's all a part of my Journey :)
