Side Hustle

So for over a decade now I have shared my life online and been on a journey that I called Living Lighter. Through that journey it led me to meet many amazing people and be involved in some amazing communities. Over the past decade I've joined 3 different MLM companies (gasp). Yes, you heard right! A multi-level marketing aka MLM company sells products or services through a network of people who recruit others. I have never really been a fan of the recruitment side but of the products offered and community gained through that.  I've been reflecting on these side hustles as the most recent endeavor is fading away and asking myself questions like, What's next for me? They say when one door closes another one opens.  

Did you know before I joined those 3 different MLM companies I started this blog.  It was space to record my thoughts and to keep myself accountable, I was on a weight loss journey back then. Sometimes I wonder if I was just annoying people posting my foodie pics and motivational quotes on social media but I honestly didn't care because it made me happy.  Because maybe someone else who was struggling or on their own journey saw my post and it gave them inspiration. Maybe it gives me inspiration too. 

So In case you don't know my back story this all started after I had lost 50 lbs through a lot of hard work and determination. Which I have over the years gained back and then some but at the time it led me to my first MLM and I became a Beachbody Coach. I wanted to help and motivate others to live a healthy life while still continuing my own journey. I loved being able to help inspire others and was part of Beachbody for a number of years. Now since I never focused  on recruiting I didn't particularly  make money at these ventures so after purchasing a new car I had to make a choice and car payments kind of trumped paying for my Shakeology monthly so I decided to quit.  After a about a year I got the itch that I needed a new Side Hustle so I decided to join Stella & Dot which is a jewelry based company and I did love to sparkle in their jewels and wanted to share it with others.  I quickly realized that selling it was far different then admiring it and knew it wasn't what made me feel passionate.  So the question became what was I passionate about?

Well the answer was simple.  Food.  I've always been a major foodie at heart and loved sharing my meals and what I cook especially my dairy free finds and more recently living my life as a Type 2 Diabetic. So it got me thinking how can I share food with others and still make a profit out it?  I truthfully did like having a Side Hustle and I needed it to be something I enjoyed.  Then I had a light bulb moment.  Epicure!  Epicure was a Canadian company that specialized in healthy, delicious, nutritious meal solutions and spices for families small and large.  I already had a variety of their spice blends in my pantry so I knew it was delicious.   So yeah I jumped in and for my Birthday in 2020 I signed up as a ambassador and it was the BEST. DECISION. EVER. and I've been sharing Epicure every since. 

On January 24th, 2025 I got an email that no one  saw coming Epicure has ceased its operations effective immediately.  I am shocked and sad, as I wait to learn more of what is happening I just can't help but look back on where I came from  and look forward. 

So you might be asking what's my next Side Hustle going to be? Although I don't have all the answers, I've decided it's going to be ME.  I'm taking a page from my own book and going back to what got me started to begin with.  Just having fun posting my foodie pics, motivational quotes and sunsets.  At the beginning of this year I choose my word of the year to be Nourish.  I plan to do that mind, body and soul. I want to revive my Living Lighter journey because I believe this is a journey that I'm on for life. 

Thankful

I have alot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. A month ago I was sitting in the ER hooked up to IV and had just found out that I had Type 2 Diabetes.  Now you might say well Michelle why are you thankful for that? Honestly I think things happen for a reason. And now I've gotten a HUGE wake up call to make my health and wellness a priority. So let's rewind a bit and what lead to me being in the ER.

So I'm pretty good at ignoring how I feel and avoid going to the doctors. Not smart I know.  Alot of the symptoms I was having I thought were caused by other things.  Dry mouth, I wear a mask all day so of course it's dry and thus makes me thirsty.  So then I drink water resulting in frequent bathroom trips.  Yeah both symptoms.  I was also feeling tired and kinda weak.  What lead me to making a doctor's appointment was take a tumble when I tried to step up on the curb outside of work.  I knew that wasn't normal to just fall and my legs shouldn't have given out on me.  Now in hindsight I had barely eaten anything that morning and I'm sure that played a part.   My diet in general although I tried to be healthy-ish was a lot of processed food. I was living off ramen, pepperettes, lemonade just to name a few. Plus just not wanting to cook and not eating at proper times.  So fast forward to my Doctor's appointment, they wanted me to do blood work. I figured as much and was lucky enough to get in that same day.  The next morning I'm at work and got the phone call that in an instant changed everything. My blood work had came back and my blood sugar was dangerously high and they wanted me to go to the ER right away to get treated.  HOLY CRAP, I wasn't expecting this.  So I go and they get me admitted and the ER doctor came in and gave me the news... You have Type 2 Diabetes, we are going to give you some insulin to help you out and then a prescription for medication.  

It's been a lot to process all this and learn about Diabetes.  I've blamed myself for letting my health decline to this state.  I mean I'd lost 50 lbs and was in great physical shape, I was freaking running! Me!  And slowly over the years I gave up exercise and I started eating what I wanted. Sure I sprinkled in some healthy items but I oh man chips are sooo good.  I had finally come to a point that I was ready to try and get things under control again, I gotten a treadmill for Christmas and was meal planning and prepping and then the pandemic hit. Boxes of wine and chips ensued.  All my motivation vanished.  Poof.  So yeah as hard as it was to hear I have Diabetes, and although the side effects from the medication really sucked in the beginning and then blurred vision has kept me from working. I'm also thankful for it all. (PS the vision is better and I'm starting back to work this week.) If I hadn't of fallen on that curb I wouldn't have made a doctor's appt and I would have probably ended up much worse off.  But now I know I need to make some serious changes. I immediately changed my eating.  Who knew what a difference eating 3 meals a day makes! I have an appointment with a dietitian later this week but I've been trying to eat more whole foods, plant based and watching my portions!  If I'm having crackers I make sure to follow what the recommended amount is, not just sitting with the box mindlessly stuffing my face. I just bought some cute workout clothes and plan to dust off my treadmill and get moving. You know the reason I started this blog way back in 2013 was to keep myself accountable and motivated plus maybe inspire some others on my way. I have lists of ideas for blogs that I've never written.  I have a second chance to continue my Living Lighter journey and for that I am Thankful.  I am Thankful that I fall on that curb. I am Thankful that I booked a doctor's appointment.  I am Thankful to be reclaiming my health.  I am Thankful to be feeling better and having some energy back. I am Thankful for the support of my Family and friends.  🥰

Back to the Beginning

I saw a post that there is only 7 weeks left in this decade. In. This. Decade.

It honestly hadn't even dawned on me that 2020 was the start of a new decade.  But I feel like it seems fitting for a new decade since I myself am starting fresh and going back the the beginning.  I've spent most of the past 10 years trying to live a healthy lifestyle.  Actually it was 9 years ago last week I started on my journey. This is the first year I didn't celebrate my healthversary.  Over the past few years I've done a 180 and haven't really been living healthy at all. I'd like to refer to it as going from Fat to Fit to Fat again. Recently I've been dealing with a health issue that has lead me to realize just how off course I've gotten. I stepped on the scale and I'm at the heaviest I've ever been. It's time get serious not just for me but also for my health. I need to turn that 180 into a 360 and turn things around.

Truth be told I've known for awhile I've needed start doing something but the doing seems to be the hard part. How do I change that?  Well I'm going to start small, Rome wasn't built in a day lol.  I'm going to work on my food first.  Meal planning and prepping so I'm actually eating a good breakfast. (A fig bar with 20 g of sugar has probably not been my best option).  As recommended by my doctor I'm also going to be using a guide I first started my healthy living journey with, Low GI foods. GI stands for Glycemic Index, it gives you an idea about how fast your body converts the carbs in a food into glucose. Some foods can make your blood sugar shoot up very fast. That's because carbohydrates like refined sugars and bread are easier for your body to change into glucose, the sugar your body uses for energy. While other foods like those in vegetables and whole grains are slowly digested carbs.  So the Glycemic Index is basically a ranking system and eating food with a smaller number has less impact on your blood sugar and slowly converts the carbs into energy then food with a higher number. Here is what the ranking looks like:

55 or less = Low (good)

56- 69 = Medium

70 or higher = High (bad)

Even the way you prepare a food can change the GI number like pasta for instance.  There is a reason why Italians cook their pasta Al dente.  The longer the starches cook the higher the GI number will be. So I will be eating more whole grains, nuts, legumes, fruits, vegetables and other foods with a low GI. Luckily since I've done this before I already have a handy magnet on my fridge with a list of what's good and bad.  

Another source I will be using as reference is the Canada Food guide.  The guide was recently updated with an emphasizes on getting protein from plant-based sources such as beans, lentils and nuts (can you see a theme here) rather than always choosing animal-based foods such as milk, meat and poultry.   A few more tips from the Food Guide are:

Be mindful of your eating habits.

Cook more often.

Enjoy your food.

Eat meals with others.

Use food labels.

Limit foods high in sodium, sugars or saturated fat.

Be aware of food marketing.

Most importantly, Eat well. Live well.

So as much as I don't want to restrict what I eat I know it will be beneficial. I do still want to be able to enjoy life by having wine and chips (in moderation of course). I really think the Food Guide has is right with there tip about enjoying your food. You have to have balance and not feel guilty about going to a fast food place or indulging once in awhile. Go to the party and eat the damn cake!  Eating one not so healthy food isn't going to ruin your long term results.  Being consistent over time will make the most difference.

So with consistency comes making goals.  By this time next year I will have been on this journey towards living healthy for a whole Decade. I know what it takes and I know I am capable of achieving my goals. I hate to focus on the number on the scale and would like to just go by how I'm feeling but I need to make an improvement for my health.  I know that a small goal over time can lead to something big.  If I focus on losing just 5 pounds a month while that doesn't seem like a whole lot over one year that's 60 pounds.   That is a big goal that would seem daunting but 5 pounds that seems doable. So that is what I'm starting with and I know another main aspect of living healthy is moving your body. But for the first bit I will focus just on my food. I know I'm gonna have to get this lazy ass moving and exercise lol.  Bring on year 10 of this lifelong journey, I've got goals and I can do this!

Eating Up YouTube

I've been debating lately whether I should up my social media game and become a YouTuber. I already have my Facebook page established and I think my insta game is pretty strong.  I kinda low key love styling my food photography pics, I'm always on the hunt for pretty things to use in pictures.  Seriously I think I could do it, maybe. Lol.  Either way lately alot of my food inspo has been from some of my fave YouTubers that I follow. So I thought I'd do a little post and share those YouTubers and their food with you! Because let's be real it's important to lift up other woman up and give them praises when they are due. #womenempowingwomen Also fun fact most of them are Canadian like me.  I think that's what draws me too them lol.

So first up we have Nikole from Healthnut Nutrition. I am a part of the #healthnutfam 🥑 and enjoy the 3 videos that are posted every week from this channel.  Nikole not only produces amazing content but she also has started the Healthnut shop where she sells all the amazing things you need in your kitchen and life in general. Click here to go to the shop. I admit I tried her 5 ingredient pancake recipe and it was an epic fail for me...

but most other recipes are amazing and give me ideas to make them my own.  She recently posted a easy 5 Minute Lunch video with tons of good ideas and I turned a veggie sandwich she made into a wrap and it was sooo good. She makes wanting to be a YouTuber look totally doable.  I also love her grocery hauls... I can always use ideas of what to buy especially from Costco and seeing her Trader Joe's hauls make me want to go there!  I highly recommend you check out her channel she didn't win Notable's YouTuber of the Year for no reason.

The next YouTuber has been a new follow for me but I've already made sooo many recipes from her channel that I simply must include her.  I'm talking about Sara better known as the Domestic Geek. I was so happy to have stumbled upon this channel. It's quick and healthy eating with easy to follow recipes.  One of the first dishes I made was a Beef stew and guys let me tell you it was the best thing I've made in awhile.

With so many good videos to watch it's hard not find something to recreate from this channel.  She has her first cookbook coming out in April and you best believe I'm going to pre order that!  Not only is the YouTube channel amazing but she just launched a new website this year,  Healthy Meal Plans where you can drag and drop recipes to meal plan and prep for the week, it then gives you the grocery list you need to make the dishes you've selected.. genius!  And Free!  Check it out here.

Another YouTuber I wanted to mention was Dani from Clean and Delicious.  I was inspired to recreate her Turkey and Zucchini skillet she made a video on and it was so easy and of course delicious!  She has started a new meal prep series #Six2Start where she takes 6 foods/ingredients to meal prep on the weekend and then shows you how to use them throughout the week in different ways. That leaves you with countless good ideas to start meal prepping with!

I also wanted to give an honorable mention to Lindsay from the Toasted Pinenut, Candice from the Edgy Veg, Megan from the Healthy Grocery Girl and Lisa from Downshiftology.  All 4 of these ladies post great videos with recipes that are amazing! I will link all of these amazing women below and I HIGHLY recommend you check out their YouTube Channels!

Click here for Healthnut Nutrition

Click here for Domestic Geek

Click here for Clean and Delicious

Click here for the Toasted Pine Nut

Click here for Edgy Veg

Click here for Healthy Grocery Girl

Click here for Downshiftology

Fat Feelings

No one really talks about what Fat feels like.  It's insecure. It's self doubt. It's lacking confidence. It's feeling like a baby beluga whale. Feeling like you are out of control. Feeling like no one can see the real you. Because all you can see is the Fat. Feeling like people can only see everything you hate about yourself.  You know what it hurts, deep.

I think it hurts me most because I know what I gave up. I busted my ass to lose 50 lbs and over the past few years I've let it all come back. I failed.  I'm drowning again.  Drowning in my fat. It's pulling me down.

This is not the end; this is the semi colon. The option to stop but the decision to keep on going.

I need to resurface, I need to see what others see in me.  I need to find my determination.  It will get me far. It has in the past. Where did it go!? I need a goal. But my real goal is to just be healthy. I'm caught in between. Wanting to lose weight and wanting to just focus on being healthy and loving myself no matter my size.  I need to treat my body better no doubt. I need to eat good food and start exercising. I've been indulging ALOT. Chips and wine are my safe place after a bad day but I feel like almost every day seems bad. And I can't indulge every day. I need focus.  This is real, these are my thoughts. Do you think like this?

 

I know I'm not alone. I hope by opening up and sharing my inner thoughts with you that you realize you aren't alone either. That's all I've ever wanted on this journey of Living Lighter to let you know your not alone. To share my story and to inspire others. I need to be my own inspiration now. Because I'm fucking awesome.

Diet Culture Dropout

A person says "I'm going on a diet" about a thousand times and there's about a thousand different diets to go on. Ok that might be exaggerating but you get the point. Also all these diets seems to have the same things in common, restrict what you eat for a certain amount of time, then you crave that food you can't eat, ultimately you end up failing the diet because you "cheated" and ate something you shouldn't or you binge eat because you were so darn hungry! Frustrating right!? 

This past year I've been trying to take my weight loss journey on a different path.  I've decided to Love Myself and my body first.  I've been learning all about different ways of thinking and how important my own mindset is.  Have I lost any weight nope and to be honest I've probably gained weight and you know what thats OK. I'm learning. I'm growing.  To me that's more important right now.  So one of the things I've been learning about is being anti-diet.  Yep that's right I'm against diets.  That doesn't mean that I'm eating whatever I want but I have the freedom too and not feel bad about it.  Because food is just food, it isn't good or bad. You use it to fuel your body. Obviously you want to fuel it with nutritious food.  Once you take all restrictions off and breakup with them you have food freedom.  So yeah I can eat whatever I want but I usually choose to eat the nutritious stuff but when I want ice cream, chips or wine I'm going to have it and really enjoy it. Pretty mind blowing right?

I am still learning about this whole anti-diet life but it's made me see just how big Diet Culture really is.  I was part of it for a long long time. It's hard to break those old thinking patterns but there are better ways to think.  A few of the things I'm learning about is Intuitive Eating and being Healthy at Any Size.  Loving my body and accepting it as I am is probably the hardest part of this new journey.  The Diet Culture has drilled in my head that I should look a certain way and be a certain size.  It's EVERYWHERE!  Magazine, TV commercials, social media ads.  One thing I'm trying to control is my social media, I follow so many more positive people who are showing me there is a better way. I've inserted a few pics into this blog post.

Did you know that the Diet Culture is a billion dollar industry?  It has no problems taking your money to keep you going on the same diet cycle over and over because they know the real truth, that diets don't work. I'd rather spend my money on Self Care, thanks.  Taking care of me and making myself a priority is just one of the things I'm learning.  I'm really actually excited to countine to evolve my journey.  I'm still learning to Live Lighter but Loving Myself at the same time. ❤️

It Hurts... and that's OK

Your just plugging away at life and you are trying to adult so hard to find a balance between life, work, friends.  But some days you just want to hide away from the world.  Some days you have to slap on a fake smile and go on with your day.  Some days everything is going along just great and wham you get hit with sadness and just want to cry.  It's something I've never really talked openly about but since it's Bell Let's Talk Day I feel a need to talk.  

I start to feel it in early January and it usually lasts till mid February. I have a suspicion that it is Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is a type of depression that's related to changes in seasons. SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you're like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody. Its still Depression which can strike at anytime, it happens to anyone for any number of reasons and is a serious illness.  Let's not be shy your Mental Health effects your entire life.  Emotionally you feel sad, hopeless, have little interest in things you used to and may feel overwhelmed.  Physically you could feel aches and pain, you might not be hungry, you might not be sleeping well and your energy is just gone.  Your behavior may change too, a person who is lively and cheerful may become slow and uninterested in what is going on around them also if the person has been suffering for awhile they become masters at hiding how they are feeling.  

I have found a few things that have helped, keep in mind I'm no expert and if you are really struggling and feel like giving up on life completely, seek help immediately.  There are so many people in your life who love and care for you and you are never alone.  One of the things that is probably one of the hardest is to open up and talk to someone. I'm not saying you need to seek a therapist, though there is absolutely nothing wrong with that but try a friend first. You might be surprised to find they have struggled too and are there to support you and will not judge you for how you are feeling.  Something I've discovered this past year has been essential oils.  I literally have a blend called Cheer and it was exactly what I needed to help me start feeling happy.  Another thing allow yourself to not be ok, cry if you need too, stay in bed all day if you need too, cancel plans if you need too but don't stop Living completely.  

Move you body, going for a walk to clear your head can do wonders.  Go out and have fun!  Seriously I know that seems like it should be easy but I know it's not.  Have a dance party, I find music can be very therapeutic.  Try starting your day by reading a motivational quote.  I've been reading the book Staying Strong by Demi Lovato and it made a big difference.  It's for every day of the year which gives you 365 days worth of reasons to stay strong.  So even on the darkest days there will come a light.

Shame on me

I've talked about body shaming before but it never goes away.  There is always this voice in my head telling me I'm Fat.  Telling me I'm not Pretty.  Telling me I'm not worth it.  And the truth is I let her in.  She lives inside me and I don't know how to make her stop.  She brings me to tears sometimes.  No one talks about this and I think everybody feels this way.  I know I am my own worst enemy but I don't know how to change that. I applaud the people that love themselves the way they are no matter the size or shape. I just can't do it.  Maybe it's because I know I can be better then I am right now or maybe it won't ever make a difference what size I am if I lose weight or don't... I think that maybe that voice inside me will still always be there telling me I'm not good enough.

I know I'm wrong.  I see the positive in almost every situation.  So today wasn't a great day and I let my emotions take over. So you want to know what started my shame game today? I have a wedding to go to in a couple weeks and I'm trying to find something to wear.  I tried on a couple things and I just wasn't feeling it.  I want to to feel pretty.  Today I just felt fat.  Today I'd rather just stay home and wear my jogging pants and drink some wine and watch Netflix.  Is that going to get me any closer to were I want to be.  Nope. But it's not going to get me any farther away either.  Giving into feelings and emotions isn't giving up.  I already know that everything will work itself out and that I will be pretty no matter what I wear.

Phase two of my shame game process is the Pep Talk.  I give into my feelings and if I have to cry, I cry.  Then I pull up my big girl pants and tell myself how much I am worth it, that I am pretty and that I am on my way to being a better me. Sometimes you just need to remind yourself of these things. Maybe I should start reminding myself of these things every day...

I am Pretty.

I am Confident.

I am Strong.

I am Healthy.

I am Happy.

I am Worth it.

I am ME!

And I am Enough.

My journal, my journey

As I read even the title of my blog Learning to Live Lighter I realize that we are always learning.  I've been doing a bit of cleaning and stumbled upon my journal from high school/college.  Wow, like totally, for sure times have changed!  One thing that was a constant in re-reading my journal entries was that I lacked belief in myself and even way back in grade nine I wanted to lose weight, it started with 5 then 10, 15 and 20 pounds. I know back then I wanted to lose weight to "fit in" but as much as I wanted to I still never did anything about it.

Even now I know I need to change but something is holding me back and I'm not sure what it is.  Maybe it because I've already worked really hard to lose weight and blew it and gained weight back.  Maybe I'm afraid to try again. To fail again. Maybe instead I need to think about it in a different perspective. Through our failures come our greatest success.  Focus on learning and growing to be the best me I can be. Start believing in me. Making me feel good about myself. Because when you don't feel good about yourself you lack confidence, energy, focus and just general happiness. I need to be happy. I deserve to be happy.

Maybe that journal was good to find, maybe I need to write more, blog more, express myself more. I've always loved writing, it's one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place.  Another reason I started this blog was to hold myself accountable and to actually share my journey to Living Lighter. I think I can do better at that. No I know I can do better! Maybe I can make this blog my personal journal on my journey. 

Why is this $h!T so Hard?

Ughh why is losing weight so hard?  Why can't I just stick to it and just commit?  I know I want to change because I am not happy with my current size and how I feel but every time I try,  I start out strong and then just fizzle out.  I was on an amazing Team Call the other night and it gave me so much inspiration and made me want to dream again and to believe again.  It made me realize the only thing standing in my way is ME!

The call was with Beachbody's newest trainer Chris Downing and he shared his story with us and the meaning behind his new program Shift Shop. He talked alot about purpose and man that guy definitely has a pure purpose and I believe his program is going to change so many people.  The shift is not just a physical one but it is a mental one too. So not only do you get to sweat hard but you get to search within yourself and find your own purpose. 

I have kind of forgotten my purpose and I think maybe it's time for me to share a bigger part of my story with you.  You see I've struggled to understand what my purpose is. I always used to think that everything happened for a reason but I had lost faith in that. I had lost faith in alot of things. Me being one of them.  My purpose, my why hit me a few summers ago while at our Coach Summit in Nashville.  And I mean it hit me so hard like a giant light bulb switch had turned on.  I had a to take a moment because I broke down into tears so happy to finally know I had a reason, a passion.  I'd like to share it with you. This is a note I wrote to myself that day because I needed to put into words what I was feeling that day...

I was sitting in the general session at Summit and was listening to Lindsay Matway, one of the top coaches in the company tell her story and it made me realize my purpose and my why.

So her story resonated with me because she had lost her brother to brain cancer and promised him to take care of her younger brother's. I myself have lost my cousin, over 10 years ago to cancer. We were the same age, she was my first best friend, she was so young and full of life. I often wonder why her and why not me. I've just seemed so lost and like a failure in life. I often wonder why I was put here, for what purpose.

When I found Beachbody I thought this could be my passion! But since I've been so lost in life, I've been unmotivated and not truly happy.  So I've struggled and I haven't been consistent in my business and as a result I haven't went anywhere or made a lot of money. 

But now I know my purpose, my reason why.... I'm here to help other people reach their goals... that's why I'm still alive! I want to save others from drowning in their bodies like I have done and continue to do with myself!

Yeah pretty powerful right?  You'd think I wouldn't forget that but I did lose sight and lost part of my passion for awhile.  Much of the bottom part of that note is still true and it's because I've been standing in my own way and not believing in myself and in my dreams. This is something that Chris said to do on the call,  have a moment of reflection. Write yourself a letter.... ask yourself: What do you really truly want? What is your dreams? and you write that letter. Then you read yourself that letter everyday and you read it when ever you feel down and you read it before you go to sleep. When you read that letter you believe that everything​ you've written is the truth and that your dreams will come true.  Love, Empower and Inspire those are now part of my goals.  Thank you for letting me share my story and journey with you, you are part of my passion and purpose. I hope I can continue to empower you to be your Best You. I know I want to be the best me.

"Nice Rolls!" - the truth about Body Shaming

Well I'm not talking about cinnamon rolls.  Do you now what sticks with a person and makes them start to hate their body? Name callers.  Bullies.  Body shamers.  Now I will say for most of my life (yes even now that I'm an adult) I have been teased, made fun of and had jokes cracked at me.  Yes I'm short. Shorter then most. Now tell me something I don't already know.  And well these things do get under my skin now that I'm wiser I just try to let it roll off.  No what I'm talking about is something much deeper then that.  Something from the days of my youth. I have a memory to share with you and it isn't a happy one.  It's one of those moments in your life that forms a part of you. It's a memory about that time you are an adolescent girl in a public pool, in my probably last two piece bathing suit (I think it was anyways, it was a long time ago).  As you are getting into the pool you hear the group of boys call out "Nice Rolls."  Being naive and not knowing what they meant, I said thanks and swam away as they laughed.  Now that I'm older I know exactly what they meant by rolls. 

My body, my middle, my stomach. That's​ what those boys were talking about. They were making fun of me for being a little chubby. I know it effected me when I was younger because I've found a diary I used to write in and every so often I would write that I'm going to lose 10 pounds. When your in your teen years that is not something you should be worried about. And yes ok my diary was more filled with what was going on in my life and the boys I had crushes on but every so often losing weight would pop up. That one incident had made me aware of my body and what other people thought of it. It made me think I was different and undesirable. That's when it starts. You start to hate your body. It has never gone away.

Do you know what I do to myself even still now when I know I shouldn't. The same damn thing that those kids did to me.  I look in the mirror and only see myself as fat. I can't imagine why anyone would ever want to love me looking the way I do.  I am so hard on myself.  I constantly put myself down. I should be better then that. I know I can be better than that.  Why is it so hard?  Why can't I just love myself?  To all the people who come up to me and tell me how amazing I'm looking and how I'm such a roll model and how proud of me you are and that  you are following my Living Lighter journey. You truly do not understand how that makes me feel.  I am so glad that you see something in me in which I can only partly see and believe in myself.  You make me want to do better and make me believe in myself more everyday.

 

A friend of mine recently posted​ a kick ass blog (click here to check it out)  about how she went on vaca and strutted her fine self in a two piece.  These are the woman I look up to and aspire to be more like. I'm still trying to find my confidence, I know it's kicking around somewhere. One thing I know I need to do more of is personal development.  I'm a serial book collector in which I collect books that would help me but then I let them collect dust.  I have 2 in which I must read because I KNOW they will help put my mindset in a more body positive place.  The first I have mentioned before,  is called Pretty Happy. Healthy ways to love your body by Kate Hudson. And the second is You are a Badass by Jen Sincero.  Maybe I should start a personal development book club to keep myself​ accountable.  What do you think would you join me in reading and growing more confident?

Note the Bookmark... I did try

Say Cheese!

Mmmmm cheese. One of the things I miss most since discovering my body no longer likes dairy.  I never quite realized how many things included dairy before since I was able to eat them.  I give a mad shout out to all those a living with a life long allergy like nuts or gluten.  Man if it was one of those two I think I would actually have died​ by now.  No I probably really wouldn't die but you definitely have to learn to adapt.  I find it hard since it's something new for me.  I find now I just sum it by saying no cheese, no butter and no fun. That's not really all true. It's has been kind of fun discovering new dairy free products to replace those things I can't have.  

So you might be wondering... Now Michelle if you used to be able to eat dairy what happened? How did it change?  Ok I'll tell you the story.  It all started a few years ago when I was helping out and starting to work in a new location. So as I didn't know what stores would be around I packed lunch and made sure to make a batch of Shakeology balls to have as a snack.  Now for a little TMI... I wasn't sure if I was having an IBS flair up (which is a complete other blog topic to cover) or just a nervous stomach/gut from working in a new location; but me and the bathroom got real acquainted and I basically lived on Pepto for the week.  I couldn't figure out what the issue was. So the weekend rolled around and I was finally feeling a bit better.  So as one does I was scrolling thru my Facebook when a post a friend had shared caught my attention.  It seemed that the brand of Almond butter I had been using had been recalled for Salmonella. So I went to the website and checked it out and sure enough the jar I had was in the contaminated bunch.  So guess what I threw out, the jar of Almond butter as well as the batch of Shakeology balls I had been eating all week since it was that almond butter I'd used to make them. 

Now it took me probably another 6 months or more to really figure out that it was in fact dairy I had a problem with.  Let me tell you those months were hard, I lived in fear of going out because I didn't know what would make my stomach and gut upset.  I never thought it was something I was eating! I had already cut out really creamy things like ice capps and cream in my coffee but it dawned on me one day that it seemed like anytime I had any dairy I was having some sort of issue with it.  So I decided to cut it out all together and see what happened. Sure enough I started to feel better without any more symptoms I had been suffering from. I decided to talk to my doctor about it just to see if there was any testing that could be done.  It basically went down like this; if I was finding that dairy causes those issues and I was feeling better by not having dairy then yes you are lactose intolerant lol.  The doctor also told me when a person has a seriously​ bad flu or something like salmonella it can strip your gut causing you to become lactose intolerant. Great.  Anyways so once I cut dairy I did start feeling alot better but it has been hard.  Alot of things I never would have thought of actually do have dairy in them.  A few of the things I miss the most, dill pickle chips, cheesecake, ok actually any dessert, grilled cheese, lasagna oh and chocolate.  CHOCOLATE!  Guys for real it's a struggle some days. Yeah I know it's not exactly the most healthiest of lists so maybe in hindsight it's a good thing I can't tolerate dairy. I gotta say though I still do miss that stuff I can't have. 

Do you want to know something else I haven't had since I've went through this whole process? Almond butter and I really liked it!  I think I'm going to have to get over my fears and buy a jar. Maybe just not the same brand lol.  I will say it has been fun to discover new products that are dairy free and delicious. I was able to switch out my regular chocolate Shakeology for vegan chocolate Shakeology. Another swap I made was with my coffee and although I could definitely buy lactose free milk and add sugar to it, one of my favorite finds has been Silk almond creamer in vanilla, so good!  The day I found lactose free greek yogurt by my fave brand Liberté oh lord was I happy! I probably did a dance in the grocery store lol.  Also the brand So Delicious makes the yummiest cashew milk ice cream.  And thankfully Daiya has Alfredo mac and cheeze as well as frozen pizzas. I haven't had the courage to buy a bag of the shreds myself and I should try the slices so that I might be able to have a grilled cheese again.  Another saving grace has been that little gem I told you about in a previous blog post (click here to check it out).  The Minga offers up all their goods dairy free and now have a margherita pizza that I can get with Daiya and I'm slightly obsessed with it as well as a baker who makes Vegan donuts.  You'd better believe I've had a few of those lol.  Who knows maybe one day I'll even make a dairy free lasagna!  Watch out world I'm exploring your dairy free offerings and there's no stopping me now!

Oh another thing I miss buying a frozen dinner. I totally used them as a quick cheat but just about every single one of them has dairy in it.  So I now just make my own.  Cooking for one I usually have enough for a few meals, so then I portion them out and freeze them for later.  I am finding it really fun to cook. Not so much the dishes but the cooking is fun.  Going out to a restaurant itself can be challenging.  Is there going to be something I can have or am I going to have to take a lactaid and still possibly suffer later?  So yes there is a pill I can take before I eat dairy to help me be able to digest the lactose better. However I don't like to take them as I figure the more you take them the more of an immunity I will build up causing me to have to take more pills to tolerate dairy. I'd rather just avoid dairy if I can all together.  So I talk to the waiter/waitress and ask questions.  I put it out there that I'm lactose intolerant and can't have dairy.  Can I get my veggies with no butter, can you substitute the mashed potatoes for something else.  Do you offer a dairy free dessert?  Most cases they work with me and I have an enjoyable meal.  Of I'm in doubt I will take a lactaid and still eat. So when others say pass the cheese, I say pass the wine!  I might as well enjoy something right! Lol

Learn to LOVE You!

Excuse me for one tiny second well I go on a bit of a Rant.. So one my "favorite" holidays is just around the corner.... NOT!  Lol seriously the day of hearts and lovey dovey couples and just gag me now is starting to fill my Facebook and every store/restaurant you go to.  Don't get me wrong I like a little romance but a specific holiday to celebrate it is a little over the top for me.  If you love me you better be showing me every damn day not just once a year lol.  Ok End Rant onto more serious blogging... So I've decided to make this blog to all my single girls or fellow Valentine's Day haters to help guide you to finding a different kind of love this year.

Do you know how we are going to do that?  By showing ourself some LOVE! And you can get your head out of the gutter that's not what I'm talking about either. This is probably the most important thing I can tell you!  I'm talking about you and the relationship you have with yourself and your body. This is something I am working on myself. I don't love the way my body looks but I love the person I am. I know it is important though that I love my whole self not just part of me.  I am showing my body how I love it by working out and eating healthy.  These are the 2 biggest actions I am taking towards learning to love my body.  I am also trying to be confident but I haven't quite found my old flare just yet she's in here somewhere. 

So well I'm searching for confidence and learning to love my body what should I do? Maybe it's just as easy as looking for support and supporting others who are learning to love themselves too.  I was invited into this amazing Facebook group called L.O.V.E Thyself doing just that. It makes me glad to know that I am not alone and that others are learning to love themselves and have support system to do so.  It takes 2 seconds to make someones day by telling them what a good job they are doing, how beautiful they are, what a difference they are making and just about any other compliment you can think of.  The more you tell someone positive things about them the more they will start to believe it. 

I personally have a hard time accepting compliments because I sometimes only see the negatives in myself. I make up for it as I always see the positive in most situations.  I told you I am working on me too.  I think a key thing that I need to do more of is personal development. There is nothing wrong with learning to grow and to be the best version of you. I have 2 excellent books to start off and help with the process.  The first was a recommendation from that great Facebook group I was telling you about its called Pretty Happy by Kate Hudson, I was drawn to it because on the book cover it describes what I am seeking... the heathy way to love your body.  The second book I confess has been sitting on my bed side for awhile and I just need to read it!  It is You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. I am going to end this post by telling you one more big piece of wisdom right here... BE a fucking Badass!  To hell with what other's may think, make your own rules, live your life your way and don't let anyone dull your sparkle.

I don't need any more Workout clothes.... Oh look a cute top!

So confession... I went to go get dressed for my workout the other day and as I pried open my over full exercise top drawer and yes I have a separate drawer just for tops and for my bottoms.  Anyways I opened the drawer and sitting on top was this cute top I'd forgotten I'd bought and thought oh I'm gonna wear that today!  I pulled it out and yup the tag was definitely still on it.  Anyone else have this problem or am I alone?

Said Cute Top from Walmart!

Truth be told I do love to hit up the workout section in stores just to see what's there.  Considering I can hardly get the top drawer shut I'm thinking I either have to many or should go through it and get rid of ones I don't wear.  I'm kinda of liking this second option because you know if I get rid of some I can get more right?  Lol oh the problem is real.  I realize the one thing I really should replace or have more of is probably the thing I wear the most while working out... The sports bra.  I'm super picky a about those though I have rebought the exact same Under Armor one a few times now. And I fear they probably don't even make it anymore. So do you wonder where I do my shopping at?

No worries I'll give you all the details!  So I personally like a good deal so I like to hit up a great variety of vaule priced stores.  One of my recent favorites is you guessed it Walmart!  Seriously they are coming out with some really cute things.  The top that still had the tag on it, totally from there.  Some of the other places I like to go Old Navy they usually have cute tops and bottoms and Joe Fresh I love there capris they are so comfy. So if I'm feeling like maybe spoiling m a little bit I check out Reitman's Hyba sports wear I found a really nice lightweight hoodie and a great quote shirt too.  And then of course when I hit up Coach Summit I make sure to go shopping at the Beachbody mall some cute branded apparel.

Beachbody top, Giant Tiger leggings and Under Armour headband

But then comes the accessories... Oh my goodness my handband collection might just be my worst bad habit going.  It started off with Under Armour and then I took my first step into Lululemon.  Big mistake... So many colors and patterns and then you get to keep the shopping bag! For socks and shoes I always hit up Sport Chek.  For socks my absolute go to's are by a brand called Diadora. So many fun colors and they don't slide down in your shoes.  And speaking of shoes the only brand I wear are Asics.  I usually have 2 pairs on the go one that I wear out and about and one pair that I keep just for working out inside. One tip for buying shoes at Sport Chek if you don't need to have them right away shop around at different locations they might have different models and sales.  Also did you know they have a Clearance section where you can usually find a great pair of shoes for like half the price?  Your welcome :)

Phew I feel like I just did a marathon shopping trip for you all!  I hope my fitness apparel addiction and need to be thrifty has given you some new ideas of where to shop and please if you have any recommendations let me know!  Happy Shopping!

Late Night Promises

Well you know I just really thought that 4am was the best time to start writing a blog post apparently... Sigh. Yup I couldn't sleep, I had so many thoughts and ideas and goals running around my head for what I want to accomplish in 2017 that I almost thought maybe I should just  get up and start tackling them now like say who needs sleep anyways!?  OK lets add sleeping better to the list of things to accomplish in 2017 also.  I don't really like calling them resolutions because no one hardly ever sticks to those so I'm going to make promises.  I do feel a sense of re motivation and purpose and that I have a fresh clean slate.  Goodbye 2016 you weren't horrible like most people are saying, I grew and learned alot about Myself. I also grew another pant size...

I think sometimes you have to get to that point where you've had enough and I'm there.  I'm at the heaviest I've been since starting my journey 6 years ago and I really just want to be the best version of me that I know I can be.  I'm done hiding, I'm done hating myself, I'm done making excuses and treating my body as a garbage can.  Do you know where that's gotten me?  Unhappy with the way I look because I've gained weight, out of shape because I stopped working out and lazy because I lost my mojo.

But do you want to know the one thing I haven't lost?  HOPE.  I know that I can be amazing because well I freaking am!  And I know that I have a great life ahead of me and by golly do you know what... I'm going to Friggin' Live it!  I'm got lots of passion in my heart and I have always been at this Living Lighter journey so that I could help others, I want to inspire people with my own actions.  I'm going to get my ass off the couch and sweat to a work out, I'm going to drink Shakeology every day, I'm going to meal prep and plan because I know that will lead to my success, I'm also going to learn to enjoy myself too because everyone needs a Faturday in there life were you can indulge and not feel guilty and I'm going to share my journey back to ME with you. Because I want to be healthy and I want to live my life to the fullest. I'm doing this for me and nobody else. I'm going to be Selfish!  I know that I can count on my own Coach for support and my Teammates are like a big second family and want you to be able to turn to me when you need my support too. I hope you continue to follow my journey and become inspired and motivated yourself. These are all my promises to myself that I can and I will make 2017 the Healthiest and Happiest year and I wish the same for you!  ❤️

Little Hidden Gems

So healthy eating in a small town is sometimes a bit difficult. You can't always find exactly what you are looking for and sometimes have to search for what you do want. In recent years the main grocery store has gotten better however that was in large part due to a company campaign which I am greatful for. You do not know the joy I had walking in to find an entire isle devoted to organic, gluten free and healthy alternatives! (Cue joyous music) however when it comes to eating out there is still work to be done. I was spoiled a few summers ago well working temporarily in a different location. They had this store, just up the street and let me tell you it was freaking amazing! (cue full blown choir here).

An entire store in a relatively small town catering to healthy food. Part shop part restaurant. It is called Sweet Greens in case you are wondering. I would often shop for healthy snacking goodies, well I placed a lunch order. They carried a variety I couldn't get at home, I found the most amazing coconut almond milk that I can only get out of town as well a french vanilla coconut milk coffee creamer. It's heavenly.

The food was equally tasty I mean an organic Greek salad. I learned some tricks eating there like putting chick peas in my salad and hummus in a wrap, like who needs meat anyways! Just kidding this gal does lol. I was sad to leave this place behind, I mean I can go back it's just not as convenient.

So much to my surprise I stumbled upon a place in my own hometown. It started with a coffee and is definitely becoming this dairy free girl's favorite place. It is called the Minga. So Minga is a meaning of coming together which is what the intentions are. They have space for community activities, events, workshops and meeting place. They offer after school mentoring it's an all ages and abilities place. There is a cafe offering hot and cold beverages, a healthy menu of locally sourced and seasonal soups, salads, sandwiches appetizers and desserts. This is my favorite part!

Maple Latte with Apple Spice muffin

Seriously the first coffee I had could compete with my addiction to Starbucks when out of town. Then I tried the maple latte... OMG! It's just so Canadian and delicious you won't get that kind of quality ingredients in a Starbucks latte anyways. I have eaten there a number of the times now as an added perk of working back in my hometown and it being right up the street. However I won't forget the first time I ate there, having a delicious grilled veggie wrap that made me learn you can put quinoa in a wrap! Like why didn't I think of that before?

My second meal was after working late one night, I just wanted something quick and healthy and Subway just wasn't cutting because really that is the only other place I know of where I can get a quick healthy meal. Enter the Minga, I went in and grabbed black bean and quinoa burger topped with avocado. I admit I was a little nervous, I've never had anything like this before I was hoping I hadn't made a huge mistake. I assure you I did not! It was excellent!

So it won't surprise you to know that I ate there this past Friday lol.  I stepped outside my comfort food bubble and tried something else new to me, Moroccan Tomato Chickpea soup with tortilla chips, I've never had Moroccan spice before... so good!  But I think I might have saved the best for last...  A Chocolate dipped Gingerbread man. Oh yes I did!

I am happy to know I have another healthy eating option (OK the Vegan Donuts may not be 💯% healthy) but for times when I just don't want to cook myself something because let's be honest those days do happen. And knowing there is better alternatives then fat fast food is all the power! With that I will sign off now Happy for Healthy options!

Life of a Fit Foodie

Wait just one minute I have to snap a picture of my meal...

Sunday Dinner, yes there was wine

Ok thanks, got it!  Doesn't that look so yummy?!  So I'll admit it, I take selfies of my food... I'm sure I look weird and I know my family thinks it's bizarre but oh well!  I like seeing what other people eat and I hope they find what I'm eating interesting too!  I try not to bombard my regular Facebook with to many pics I mostly focus it on my Living Lighter page and most of all on Instagram! (I know you want to check me out on IG now @coachmichlg) Oh it's like a whole community over there you guys like wow.  Some people call it Food Porn but I like to call myself a Fit Foodie as I like to post about my healthy eating lifestyle.

So what are some things I've learned about taking pictures of my food you may ask... well I can't be totally boring with the food I eat or I'd have no pictures to take at all lol.  Also I try to go for things that I think look good... close ups a plenty.  Also I'm still mastering my kitchen / cooking skills so when I do a good job you know I am so totally going to toot my own horn by sharing it!  And really what better way to share then with a picture of my culinary perfection.  Ok well probably not perfection I'm no master chef.

Being a Fit Foodie also keeps me accountable.  I mean I'm posting Fit food not junk food, so I need to be eating healthy food in order to have the content available to be able to post about it.  Sometimes I post because I'm excited to share a new product I've found or I'm having something I really enjoy, like Starbucks :) Ya know because for this lactose intolerant chick it's amazing to go there and have an incredibly tasty latte and k ow that it will be dairy free.

So something's you need to know when we go out for dinner or just about anywhere with a Fit Foodie...  If we are in the grocery store in a "big" city I'm going to be hitting that natural food section hard.  It can be full of different products to try and discover.  Like just the other day I found my seasonal Cliff bars and it made me so excited I beelined it for the display. (I'll post a pic below 😉)  If we are in a mall and there's a health food store I will slow down and window shop to see if I spy anything interesting.  Lastly going for dinner... Yeah so if I order something and it looks so damn good I will be taking a picture before I eat it. I will try to wait to post it later but sometimes I just get carried away. Yes I've gone to eat my food and it's gone slightly cold but still just as tasty.  I mean you gotta get just the right angle to make that tastiness appear in the picture! And if I'm at home there is just no question that Fit Foodie pics are going to happen.

So my advice if you are thinking of becoming a Fit Foodie... Just go for it!  Be creative and try different angles or maybe you want to make a theme and only post about something specific like smoothies or Kale.  I mean you might get some weird looks and questioning glances but seriously us other Fit Foodie's out there totally get it. Be You 100%. of the Time!

How do you spell STRESS?

Isn't it C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E or C-H-I-P-S?  Yeah those sound like the usual go to's unless it's super stress and then you just head straight for the W-I-N-E!  But alas when you are trying to lose weight these things will derail your efforts and cause negative effects.  What to reach for instead... A workout! 

Yes really,  I know what your thinking trust me on this I haven't gone totally crazy yet.  It will probably be the LAST thing on your to do list but it will help.  By working out it forces you to focus your attention and thoughts on doing the moves properly and what's coming up next.  Soon you will be sweating and forgetting all about the stressful situation.  Unless it's a punching, kicking kinda work out in which case you can use your emotions to fuel you to give it all you've got!  By the end of the workout you might be smiling and feeling happy.  It's because your High!  Hehe no really  when you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins.  These endorphins sends signals to your brain that reduce your perception of pain ei the no pain, no gain mantra.  Endorphins are pretty powerful stuff, they trigger a positive feeling in your body similar to that of morphine! So the next thing you know you've workout all week just to get the happy sweaty feeling, it's pretty addicting.  I mean there are ways worse things you could be addicted to right?  I'll take exercise. 

Now to the food.  I'm not saying don't have the chips, chocolate or wine I'm just saying do it in moderation and portion control it!  Don't just sit down and kill a bottle of wine. ( I know, I know totally buzz kill)  but maybe compromise a bit too.  So have a glass of wine and a salad.  Or a handful of dark chocolate chips with a serving of raspberries.  And do not, I repeat  DO NOT get the big bag of chips and sit down with them... because before you know it you'll be elbow deep and looking at the bottom  of an empty bag.  Instead pour a little and put the far away... far far away.  Better yet try tortillas with salsa or veggies and hummus... you'll feel more satisfied in the long run.

Ok so you didn't listen when I said portion the chips and put them far far away and now you feel guilty about ruining your diet.... STOP!  Like really stop it right now.  It's done it's over you can't go back and do it over so move on.  Don't let one slip up turn into a week, month of bad eating. Trust me I know I've been there.... it's easy to say next week or on Monday.  You don't need a special day,  you just need to start with your next meal and make it healthy. I personally have been struggling to I'm not beating myself up over it.  Right now I'm getting over a nasty cold and I don't feel bad eating soup and crackers because a salad is just not as comforting.  But I know it's not permanent and that this little blip in my eat and exercise routine won't wreck my goal... it's still there and I can still work towards it. For now I'm just focusing on me and my health which is ultimately what the bigger picture of is all about right? One day at a time,  One pound at a time.... We will get there :)